Bring Love Together
by TheBlueFoxtrot A Samba
Summary: Kitty is tired of seeing everyone running around being single when they could happily be with the ones who love them. Teaming up with Kurt, she'll just have to resolve that. Now up:Interlude
1. Prologue

Disclaimer: I've wished upon many a star. I don't have it _yet. _But y'all will know when that happens because a new season of X Men Evo will be announced and chocolate will rain from the sky…actually, that last part might not be a good idea.

* * *

They were having a party. There was no point to it other than school was out and everyone was around. Most everyone except for the teachers, who'd long since abandoned the main festivities, were on the dance floor. Everyone but Remy who was trying to talk Rogue into a dance and Kitty and Kurt who were watching them from the snack table.

Remy was leaning on the wall next to her. He had his most charming grin plastered on his face. They didn't know what he was saying to her, but Rogue was clearly trying to ignore him. From the blush on her cheeks, it wasn't working.

Kurt munched on a bowl of chips while Kitty watched the Southerners anxiously. She thought that Rogue should just dance with him. Aside from the fact that they were adorable together, they actually did like each other, despite Remy's flirting with everything female and Rogue's denial. She had the general idea of why her friend and roommate didn't want to get involved with Remy. The boy just got there four months ago and already had a reputation. Rogue didn't want to get played by the player. The other half of that…she didn't want to hurt him.

She just didn't see how Rogue could really believe that though. They were perfect for each other. Remy was actually a nice guy, despite the hard edge he presented. He genuinely cared for Rogue, and Kitty was certain that it was more than just like. The adoration he had for her was clear every time he looked at her. And no matter what he did, Rogue always ended up with a smile on her face when she was with him. This was the same girl who could go days without even the slightest hint of a grin. Honestly, didn't she know when she was happy?

As she watched Rogue turn and scowl at Remy then stomp away, as she saw the frustration seep into Remy's stance, Kitty concluded that no. Apparently, her friend was an emotional retard. And as her very _best _friend, it was practically her duty to help her. Whether she wanted it or not.

She glanced to her right and let a smile bloom on her face. Kurt glanced to his left and suddenly felt worried.

"Vhy are you looking at me like zhat?"

"You want Rogue to be happy, right?"

"Of course."

"And you'd agree, Remy makes Rogue happy?"

Kurt begrudgingly nodded his head yes.

"Exactly! So since Rogue won't accept him on her own, don't you think that we –as her friend and brother – should help her find happiness and love?" Kitty looked at him with her hands clasped and batting big blue eyes.

"Er…yes?"

"Great!" she threw herself at him, hugging him around the neck. "I knew I could count on you, Kurt!"

"Um…sure."

_Vhen did I agree to anyzhing?"_

It was then that the song blaring through the speakers changed. Kitty's eyes widened in realization as she stared up in wonder.

"That's it!"

"Vhat is?"

"Come on!" she grabbed Kurt's hand and led him out of the party room.

This would need careful planning and perfect execution. This would take skill and finesse. It would also take a whole lotta luck and maybe a miracle if Rogue found out anything about their involvement. But if they – no, when they pulled this off, it would be worth it.

Kitty couldn't help but giggle at her own sneaky plotting. Kurt couldn't help but be concerned over what exactly he'd agreed to.

* * *

A/N: Merely a prologue people. No tellin' how long this will be. I plan on doing at least one chapter for every non-established couple. Since people break up all the time( NEVER Romy), I was thinking that I could get near every couple in here, even the crack ones. Who else do you want to see?


	2. Operation Southern Lovin'

**AmuletSpade: LOL. **You should get an actual account. They'll probably officially get together at the very end of this. Or maybe in the middle.

* * *

_If I gave you a love note and made you smile with every word I wrote…_

_

* * *

_

Kitty just barely managed to not squeak when Rogue walked into their shared room. She'd been leaning over her roommate's bed to place the 'love note' on her pillow. Thinking fast, Kitty abruptly straightened and waved the folded sheet of paper.

"So what's this?" she asked in a believable, curious manner. Truthfully, she was. How would Rogue react?

Rogue arched a brow and gave her a concerned look. She pointed.

"That," she said slowly, "is a piece of paper, Kit. It comes from trees and ya write on it."

Kitty promptly stuck her tongue out at her.

"You know what I meant. Looks like a love note," she retorted with a triumphant grin.

Rogue rolled her eyes and walked past Kitty to her wardrobe.

"I don't much care 'bout your love letters."

Kitty grinned widely. She had her now.

"Oh, it's not for me. Your name is on it."

Kitty watched with satisfaction as Rogue's hand stilled over the box in her hands. She held out the paper, waving it a little. She had hoped Rogue would show a little curiosity instead of the narrowed eyes she shot at it. But she hadn't hoped too much. Rogue tossed the box on her bed and marched up to Kitty, holding her hand out expectantly. Keeping her smile in place, she dropped the note into Rogue's hand. She wasted no time and immediately unfolded it. Kitty watched in anticipation as Rogue's grey eyes skimmed across the page. A lone brow arched upward. Then she glanced at Kitty.

"Did you read this?"

"No. Why? What's it say? Who is it from? Tell me!"

It wasn't hard at all to push the excitement into her voice. Oh, it was going to be so awesome when this came together!

Rogue merely snorted, turned on her heel, and stormed back out the door, note firmly clutched in her hand. Kitty wasted no time and practically flew to the balcony.

"Kurt!" she called up.

BAMF

He 'ported down from where she'd ordered him to be positioned on the roof. He took her hand and

BAMF

'ported them to position B, a secure location among the branches of a tree near the garage.

"Did you get them set up?"

"Of course, Kitty. Here you go," he passed one of the little ear buds to her.

She'd sent him out earlier to go pick up a few things from Forge. He'd tried to contradict her saying that they could simply use their powers. She'd chuckled and patted him on the head.

'_Such a naïve, sweet child you are.'_ She'd said.

He'd bared his teeth at her and hissed. She flicked him on the nose. He'd petulantly rubbed at it, like she'd really hurt him, and she'd apologized. Then she'd gone back to plotting like a woman possessed. If anything ever happened to Scott, Kurt knew who he was voting for to take his place.

"Are you sure these won't, like, send us into another dimension or something?"

"Nein, I'm not. And I told you zhat earlier. You said you didn't care as long as zhey vork."

"The picture's not very good," she said, squinting at the small monitor.

"You are zhe one who said zhe size didn't matter! And it's not like you gave him a lot of heads up eizher."

"Shh, she's at the door!" Kitty hushed him and trained her attention on the little tv in the tree.

Kurt sighed silently and did the same. On the portable tv, Rogue was walking directly to the hood of a black 1968 Camaro, first generation, that had a pair of work boots and ripped jeans peaking from under it. A trench coat was thrown over a work bench. They could see her mouth moved but couldn't hear it.

"Turn it up!" she whispered harshly.

"It is!"

"I can't hear them," she whined. "Now I'm going to have to get it from your sister, and you know how difficult she is."

"Just read zheir body language."

Remy had rolled himself from under the car to send Rogue a dazzling smile, still on his back. She shook her head and moved one hand to her hip and held the one with the sheet of paper out to him. He sat up, wiped his hands on his jeans, and accepted the paper, reading over it quickly. Then one hand covered his mouth, and his shoulders started to shake. Rogue very deliberately kicked him over, and his bark of laughter could be heard in their perch without the equipment. He rolled on the ground, now down to chuckles.

"Is he laughing at my note?"

"It looks like he's dying actually. I don't zhink he can breathe."

They saw Rogue say something else to him and he shook his head no.

"I wish I knew what they were saying."

Remy looked back at the page and made some gestures to it, as if explaining something. Rogue snatched it back from him and looked it over for a long moment. As she studied it, Remy stood, dusting off the back of his pants and leaning on the side of the car. Her stance then took on a decidedly not happy, more aggressive one, and her mouth blurred as she talked. They could just hear her voice coming from the garage.

"Oh, this is bad," Kitty said.

"Gee. Do you really zhinks so? I vasn't sure. I mean, it seemed like such a great idea," Kurt said in a dry, monotone voice.

She turned to glare at him. That boy had been hanging out with his sister _way _too much. Just as she opened her mouth -

"KITTY! YA GET YOUR NARROW BEHIND OVAH HERE NOW!"

"Eep! Kurt!"

"I know, I know," he rolled his eyes.

How had he known this wouldn't end well? At least Rogue hadn't called _him _out.

Kurt dutifully 'ported them to safety, leaving the spy equipment in the tree, still recording. Rogue started off back towards the mansion to hunt down her roommate and do very unpleasant things, but Remy caught her hand.

"Leave Chaton alone, mon cherie. She jus' tryin' t' help ya."

"Oh, please! If she really wanted to help me, she'd help me get rid of you."

With a firm tug, Remy pulling her to him with her back to his chest.

"That would hurt if I thought ya meant it," he said with a smirk.

"What makes ya think I don't? Hands off, Swamp Rat!" she yelled at him, smacking his arm.

He tightened his arms around her waist and leaned forward, resting his chin on her shoulder. Rogue didn't dare move now, as his skin was far too close to her face. He looked at her from the corner of his eye.

"Ya don't like moi?"

"No."

"Why?"

"Because you're a moron."

"'Ey now, chere," he said with a deliberate Southern slur. "Remy be plenty smart. There a lot 'e can teach ya, non?"

"Non! I mean, no. Let me go!"

"Nuh-uh. I warned ya before. Once I get you, I ain't never lettin' ya go."

She finally looked at him.

"You really mean that…don't you?"

"Wouldn't say it if I didn't, cherie."

"Yeah, well…didn't know ya meant it so literal. Honestly, you're just too much trouble."

"Give this Cajun a chance, Rogue. Just one. I guarantee I'll be worth it."

Rogue sighed the sigh of one defeated. Remy wondered if she was aware that she was stroking his arm.

"If I said no, would you stop?"

"Nope."

"Well, then, I don't have much of a choice, do I?"

"Sure ya do. Just a matter of sooner or later. I vote sooner."

Some choice. If she turned him down, he'd just be stubborn about it and keep trying to get her to go out with him. From what she knew of him, he just seemed the type to keep something like this going for years. On the other hand, if she said yes, he might be through with it after one date. Then he'd just leave her alone. But what he just said…he said he'd never let her go.

"If, and I'm just sayin' if," she cautioned the smile forming on his face, "I did say yeah to a date tonight, would I have to dress up?"

"Ya ain't gotta wear a stitch of cloth if ya don't want to."

"Would you be serious?" she scolded him.

"I really am," he replied, dead serious.

Despite herself and the situation and the fact she was practically being blackmailed, Rogue found herself fighting a smile. Knowing it was all for a lost cause anyway, she went ahead and let herself laugh at the wide-eyes he was shooting at her.

* * *

Kitty was upset. Not because she'd felt she'd crossed any sort of boundaries in peoples personal lives. Not that she felt bad about it. On the contrary, she was proud that she'd stood up against her friend's stupidity. Her friend though…wasn't inclined to see it her way.

"Kitty!"

She jumped when she heard Rogue call her and _fluttered _in the middle of the hall, not sure of which way to run. If only Kurt hadn't abandoned her. Traitor!

Kitty flinched violently, forgetting about her powers in her moment of abject fear, and was quite confused as it seemed as if she were being hugged. By Rogue. Voluntarily.

"Uuh…" she said.

"Thank you," Rogue pulled back and smiled at her friend.

"You're welcome?"

Rogue's face suddenly turned serious.

"Don't interfere in my love life again, or I swear, terrible things will happen to you."

Kitty hastily nodded and Rogue beamed again.

"Good," she dropped her hands from her shoulders. "I'll see ya later then."

"Oh, you're going out with Remy, aren't you? Can I he-"

"Oh, hell no," Rogue said on a laugh as she walked down the hall.

Kitty was too hyped up on the fact that _her plan worked _and she was _alive_ that she didn't much mind getting her offer turned down.

"'Kay. You'll tell me about it later?"

"Not likely," she called over her shoulder and disappeared around the corner.

To get ready for her date. With Remy. That probably wouldn't have happened if it wasn't for her. Now, they'd start dating officially, and he'd propose, and Kitty would get to wear this gorgeous bridesmaid dress, like on that movie. Oh, she had to tell Kurt!

She snapped out of the slight daze of a successful match-made and sprinted down the hall, startling Ray who'd been walking past her still form. As a result, he hastily brushed the electrocuted vase under a rug and whistled as he casually walked away. After a frenzied search, Kitty spotted Kurt in the rec. room. She skidded to a stop as she'd run past the door and phased through the wall. She was just about to jump in front of him and tell him the news, which would have resulted in his game character's tragic demise and a lot of German cursing, when someone else caught her eye.

Tabby. Or rather, who was staring at Tabby like she was the best thing since America's Next Top Model. That person being Sam. The shy Southern boy was more along the outskirt of the crowd around the low table. He kept shooting glances her way that the blond seemed oblivious to. Then Kitty's scope widened.

Jubilee and Bobby. The way the two teased each other, laughing all the time, the way they were around each other. It was so obvious. How had she not seen this sooner?

Once again, she abruptly came to herself and rushed over to Kurt, snatching the controller from him despite the strangled sound he made, and dragging him _through_ the living room, people and furniture alike. He yelled at her in German the whole way to the foyer. She tried to wait for him to finish with patience. Then she got fed up and flicked his ear.

"Stop doing zhat, voman!"

"Would you listen? This is actually important!" she waved her arms in exasperation.

"Vhat could possibly be more important than killing Templars and freeing zhe Holy Land?" he challenged, crossing his arms.

"Kurt. It is a stupid video game."

His eyes widened and he looked like she just insulted his blueness.

"Take it back!" he ordered fiercely.

"You have got to be kidding me!"

"Does zhiz face," he pointed at himself, completely and utterly serious, "look like it's kidding?"

"It really don't, Chaton."

The two turned to look at the base of the stairs, where Remy was now dressed in clean, fresh clothes yet still too casual in _her _personal opinion and his ever present trench coat.

"You're going to wear that on your date?" Kitty asked, now fully switching gears.

"Mein schwester actually agreed?" Kurt asked in disbelief. He would have bet money that she was going to give Remy a black eye.

"Oui en oui."

Kitty drew herself up to her full, meager height, and put both hands on her hip.

"And just where are you taking her? Some cheap bar?"

"Absolument pas! It's a very expensive bar."

She made a small noise of protest before Rogue descended the stairs. Then she openly gaped. Not over the fact that Rogue was actually wearing stylish boots or the fact that she'd done her hair in an up-do. It wasn't even that Rogue had forgone her usual goth look and went with a smoky eyed effect. What had her needing to pick her jaw from the floor was that Rogue was wearing a dress. A shimmery, silver dress.

Remy performed a perfect wolf-whistle. Neither Kitty or Kurt seemed to have been noticed from the moment Rogue entered the room.

"Ya look belle," he said, pressing a kiss to her gloved hand.

"Thanks. You look pretty decent yourself, Bayou Boy."

"Oh, I know, Miss Smarty-Pants. I saw me. Now le's get goin' before we miss our reservation, hein?"

He offered her his arm, and she accepted, allowing herself to be led to the door.

"Wait. How do you have reservations?"

"Would ya think me pathetic if I told ya I've kept a runnin' reservation for the past few weeks?"

"I already think you're pathetic," she smiled up at him.

"Ah, such wit!"

The two mutants left in the foyer looked at each other after the Southerners left, each with a question ready.

"When did she get a dress?"

"Why didn't she punch him?"

Neither had answers. As they heard the rev of engine fade off, Kitty was suddenly reminding why she dragged Kurt out here in the first place.

"You know this is only the start, right?"

"What?" Kurt asked, confused as to what they were talking about now. Really, the boy needed to learn to keep up.

"This! Getting everyone together. You have to have seen the way Sam looks at Tabby?"

"Erm."

"And Bobby and Jubilee are just too cute together."

"I don't –"

"It's our duty as their fellow X Men to help our teammates."

"Vell, yes, but –"

"Exactly, Kurt!" She put her hand on his shoulder. "I knew you'd understand. You're such a great friend."

She smiled at him, and he returned it, although not quite as brightly.

"Oh, the equipment! I completely forgot about it."

"I'll get –"

"Don't worry about it, Kurt. I got it. We'll talk strategy later, m'kay?"

She was already out the mansion with that sentence. He stared at the spot she'd passed through, then put a hand on his shoulder where her hand had been.

"Friend?" he asked the empty space. "Wunderbar."

BAMF

Kurt 'ported back to his spot on the couch and picked up his untouched game. Until Kitty came back, he'd spend his time ridding the virtual world of one more Templar dog with the use of many pointy objects.

Admittedly, he was impressed that Kitty's plan had worked as fast as it did. But no, she was smart. She'd have gotten those two together eventually. Plus, she had the fact that those two liked each other working with her. A blind, deaf man would know with just the tension those two exhibited when around each other. This Sam-Tabby business though…well, if Kitty said it, it was probably true. And Bobby and Jubilee were a definite, if one thought about it for a while. Kitty saw things other people missed. But what got him, was that she didn't see right what was in front of her face.

When the time came, Kurt's character might have stabbed his target a few more times than was necessary.

* * *

A/N: and now I feel like singing Justin Timberlake.

So far, there are requests for Cannonboom, whatever Tabby and Piotr is, and Loro. What else people? This chapter wasn't supposed to be this long. It was supposed to stop a long time ago.

Because _I'm all for self-promotion_, if you were to put Gambit and Rogue and Complete in the appropriate boxes, 13, that's right 13 wonderful Romy stories will appear on your screen by yours truly, all for your enjoyment. In order to ensure that the quality is maintained in future stories, a review would be the best way to let me know what you liked. I'm just sayin'.


	3. Operation Ice Sparks

AmuletSpade:… I have never actually read an X Men comic. Ever. I read a Deadpool comic for the first time a few months back. Awesome. So, I didn't know that. With that in mind, it's weird that you say I have her in-comic character. Spooky even. Also, I take it you want Hank/Ororo?

* * *

_Clumsy 'cause I'm fallin' in love, so in love with you_

This time, Kitty prepared. Instead of rushing off with the first half-baked plan that popped into her head, she actually sat down and thought about how to do this. She was going to be sensible this time around. Though sitting in a tree and plotting was a bit _not quite _sensible.

Kitty was typing furiously on her laptop in her perch. Now that her eyes had been opened, she could see that nearly all of her friends were unhappily –in her mind – single. Since she and Kurt did such a great job Operation: Southern Lovin' as she'd newly dubbed it, she was determined to set everyone else up. It was for their own good and happiness, after all.

Presently, she was handling the Jubilee/Bobby plan, a little something she liked to call Ice Sparks.

"Vhy do ve have to give zhem codenames?" Kurt had asked.

"Because it makes this, like, so much more awesome!" Kitty blurted out nearly as fast as Pietro and giggled.

"Uh-huh. You drank some of the coffee Logan made, didn't you?"

"Heck yeah! His stuff is awesome! Whoo!"

"No vonder you're so vired. His stuff is completely black."

Kitty giggled some more.

Anyway, she assigned him Operation: Cannonboom! to get started on while she handled Ice Sparks on her own. There was another potential couple she wanted to get started on, but not before this was tied up.

_ALL THE SINGLE LADIES!_

"Aaugh!" Kitty screamed.

_THROW YA HANDS UP!_

She did, trying to keep her balance then lunged for her laptop before it slipped off of her lap. She cluthed the computer to her chest as she gasped and turned to the offender.

"Jean!" she yelled down to the red-head.

Honestly, there was no reason anyone's car radio should be that loud. Jean stepped out of her suv.

"I am so sorry, Kitty! Are you okay?"

"Okay? I nearly had a heart attack! I almost dropped my computer!" she informed her, sounding near hysterical.

"I didn't know you were up there, Kitty. And is it a good idea to have it up there in the first."

"I need it," Kitty argued. "and this tree helps me thi –"

Jean's car radio changed to a new song. The familiar beat and lyrics shot ideas through Kitty's head while Jean called up to her, concerned at her sudden silence. She jumped nearly a foot when Kitty squealed and hopped out of the tree, taking off at a dead run to the mansion.

Oh, this was perfect! Just too good to be true! She knew exactly what she needed to do to make Ice Sparks a success. Then it was on to bigger fish.

Kitty ran into the foyer, literally through Ray, Warren, and Alex, and up the stairs to her room. She had some prep work to do.

* * *

The next day at breakfast, Kitty was eager to enact the first phase of her plan. She practically bounced in her seat from excitement, ignoring the biscuit and eggs on her plate. Rogue scowled darkly at her, clearly disgusted by such _cheer_ so early in the morning. Remy walked behind her chair, slipped her a cup of coffee and an omelet, and pressed a kiss to her hair before taking the seat next to her. She didn't smile, but her features softened. Kitty was just taking in a breath of air at the sight when,

"I swear, Kit," she warned, "if you start squealin' next to me, I'll knock your scrawny butt into next Monday."

Remy chuckled as Kitty stood from her chair, phased through wall of the kitchen, and a moment later, squeals could be heard coming from the general direction of the library. Logan, who was sitting at his usual place at the farthest end of the table, snorted from behind his newspaper. Hank and Ororo laughed lightly at the children's antics. Rogue rolled her eyes when her roommate walked back in through the door and sedately set herself back down.

She couldn't help it! They were just too cute! Rogue with her cool composure and bantering flirting and Remy being all suave and adoring! At that very moment, Remy was leaning towards Rogue, whispering something to her. The gothic girl arched a brow before turning to the smirking Cajun. She placed her hand on his shoulder, moving it to his hair. Then she smacked up on the back of his head and withdrew her hand.

Kitty smiled fondly at the two of them. Moments like that were precisely what she was doing all of this for.

BAMF

Kurt picked up a plate from the counter and went about building a small hill of food on it. So intent on his balancing act, he flinched when he glanced over and saw Kitty watching him with a now mad grin on her face. She pulled the chair out next to her and patted it.

BAMF

He 'ported just far enough past them so that they wouldn't have to breathe in his smoke. He set himself and his plate down, about to tear into it then frowned.

"What?" Kitty asked.

He crossed his arms, affecting a pout and said,

"I forgot my orange juice."

He sent the glass on the counter a glare, as if it was the glass's fault.

"Just get up and get it."

"But it's over there."

"So? Get it!"

"I'm really comfortable right here though."

"Ugh, you're such a baby!"

Kitty phased through the table and walked over to retrieve Kurt's juice. He smiled broadly at her, revealing his fangs. Before handing it to him, she slurped down half of it.

"Hey!"

"My compensation, Mr. Blue Boy. Deal with it."

He took a moment to stick his tongue out at her then bowed his head to say a quick grace. When he raised his head, Kitty flicked his ear. Kurt cut her a glare from the corner of his eye before turning to more important matters, like food and eating as much as was mutant-ly possible.

"Hurry up and eat," Kitty said, "We need to talk about how everything's going."

"How vhat is – "

Kurt paused a moment, the fork full of eggs inches from his face. He grunted in irritation and resumed eating at a much slower pace. Kitty would have started on him, but the targets of her own plan walked, _dragged,_ in.

Bobby was still rubbing the sleep from his eyes, and Sam, his roommate, looked like combing his hair had been just too much trouble. What brought a smile to Kitty's face was Jubilee, eyes closed and hanging on to Bobby's arm while he practically dragged her in. As the New Recruits went about filling in their plates, Kitty slid down in her seat a bit. Bobby sat down first then Sam skipped a seat and took that one. Jubilee pulled out the chair between the boys and plopped into it from the side. Somehow, she missed the chair completely. Surprised to find herself still moving, Jubilee squeaked and threw her arms up to try and regain her balance. That didn't quite work. Instead, she fell onto Bobby's lap. Her momentum, though, caused them – chair, plate, and all – to topple over and hit the floor hard.

"Uh, you guys okay?" Sam asked his two sprawled friends.

"Ow!" Jubilee moaned.

Bobby was too busy trying to get the air back into his lungs to respond. Rogue and Remy were trying to stifle their snickering. Logan was pretending like he wasn't there. Ororo looked amused. Kurt was staring at Kitty with an 'I-know-what-you-did-you-meddlesome-woman' look. She was holding her hands over her mouth, internally freaking out.

See, _that _had not been quite what she'd intended to happen.

"Young love often manages to challenge its targets equilibrium," Hank mused.

Everyone stared at him blankly. He cleared his throat.

"Love makes you too doe-eyed to pay attention to what you're doing, resulting in clumsiness," he said dryly. "Now let's see what damage we have."

It was later determined that Bobby had a slight concussion, and Jubilee had sprained her wrist. Soon afterwards, Kitty went upstairs to her room to re-think her strategy.

She was flopped back on her bed cuddling her stuffed dragon with a song playing on repeat when Kurt 'ported in with his hands covering his eyes.

BAMF

He appeared on the base board of her bed, balancing on one foot.

"Are you decent?"

"No. I'm a terrible person," she replied moodily.

He paused a moment.

"Is zhat a ja or…?"

"That was such a disaster! She wasn't supposed to fall over like that, just slip onto his lap, and their eyes meet, and they see each in a whole new light! You know, like that one movie."

Kurt, eyes still covered, shrugged and said,

"Oh yeah, _zhat _one movie out of all zhe thousands zhere are. I totally know what you're talking about."

Kitty threw Lockheed at him.

"Gah!" he cried, tripping onto the floor at the foot of her bed.

She giggled and crawled over to the edge. She flopped onto her belly and peered down at him.

"I mean that one you watched with me on Lifetime."

Kurt, flat on his back, shuddered at the memory. Six hours of his life he'd never get back. He would have abandoned her to watch them alone except she'd just broken up with Lance…again. For the final time…again. And she'd told him that she was glad that they were _friends._ Yay.

"Nein, you _forced _me to watch a _marathon_ of movies vith you. And all of them. Vere. Zhe. Same."

"Whatever, Kurt. I mean the one where that graceful dancer is in love with Michael, the guy who works in a coffee shop for a week while his brother's sick and doesn't lose his job. But you know, he's actually loaded."

"Zhat still doesn't make any sense. Vhy not give your brother a job? Or if he's just so obsessed vith coffee, buy him the stupid store!" Kurt ranted.

"_Anyway,_ at first he thinks she's stuck up, but then she keeps tripping around him, and he keeps catching her, and she figures out she's in love with him and then –"

"Some psycho chick comes out of novhere, kicks every guys butt, and nearly kills the other chick after she kills the sheriff vith her bare hands after she seduces him. Please stop talking about zhem. I get the point."

"I totally failed them, Kurt."

Kurt sat up with his back to the bed and folded his legs under himself.

"First of all, you're being overdramatic. Second, you should leave Bobby and Jubilee alone. Zhey'll figure it out for zhemselves eventually. Probably sooner zhan later. Third, you're not a terrible person; you probably just have B.B.D."

Kitty wrinkled her nose. She'd never heard of that one before.

"What's that?"

He turned flashing canines on her.

"Busy body disorder."

"Ha ha. You're so funny," she said dryly.

"I try, Kätzchen ."

They sat quietly for a while, only the song coming from Kitty's ipod breaking the silence. It was while Kitty was running her fingers through his hair – Because it's just so soft and like, bouncy! – that it clicked.

_YOU GOT ME TRIPPIN', STUMBLIN', FLIPPIN', FUMBLIN'_

"Kitty?"

_CLUMSY 'CAUSE I'M FALLIN' IN LOVE_

"Yeah?"

"You used _Fergie _as your inspiration."

"Seemed like a good idea at the time. Now…well, let's just say the second phase involved using the stairs and depending on Bobby to be able to catch.

Kurt snorted.

"He so vould have dropped her."

"Oh, that reminds me. How's Operation Cannonboom! coming?"

"I'm done."

"What!"

Kurt silently mourned the removal of her hand from his scalp as Kitty crawled off the bed to sit next to him.

"Tell me! Was it adorable? Are they going out tonight? What did Sam do? How did Tabby react? …Well?"

Kurt stared at her a moment.

"Oh, it's my turn now? I vasn't sure."

She raised a hand, poised to flick him. He glared and hissed at it like it was his mortal enemy.

"All right! I asked Sam if he liked Tabby, and he said ja. He doesn't really want to date her zhough. He likes zhis girl at school who's friends vith Tabby and vas nervous about asking for her number or somezhing. And Tabby said zhat she thought Sam was cute but zhat vasn't saying much since, apparently, zhe mansion is crawling vith, her words, 'hot guys'. Frankly, I've only ever seen one and zhat's vhen I look in a mirror."

"I – you – but she – and he was – how – Ugh!"

She flicked his ear.

Kurt merely sighed.

'_The things I put up with,'_ they both thought.

* * *

A/N: And that is how it wrote itself. I had very little to do with how this turned out.

Here are the couples so far. There are a few conflicting ones but I'm thinkin' I can work with that. Of course, I can't please everyone with this. Tell me which one you want to see next –

Warren and Betsy (Berren. Not that kind of barren. Don't be so negative.)

Alex and Laura (Laurex)

Laura and Kyle (Lyle)

Sam and Tabby (Cannonboom. In the works)

Tabby and Piotr (I have no idea)

Rahne and Roberto (Sunsbane, Rahnberto)

Pyro and Amara (Pymara)

Pyro and Wanda (There's a name for this already that I can't remember… Johnda! That's it.)

Ray and Amara (Ramara)

Logan and Ororo (Loro. AmuletSpade is passionately against this, lol)

Hank and Ororo (Hanoro? Sounds like some kind of sushi roll.)

Bobby and Jubilee **(Done! **They'll see the 'light' on their own**)**

Raven and Eric (Hahahaha! So Dysfunctional!)

Rogue and Remy **(Done)**


	4. Operation Big Bang

The professor had lost his mind. Then again, the man had opened his house to a bunch teenaged, super powered, hormonal mutants so it was in question whether he was all there to begin with anyway. But no one really thought to question Charles' sanity until now. Until Magneto had walked up to the doors flanked by the tall Russian and the Aussie pyro.

It hadn't mattered that none of them were dressed in uniform, the fact that Magneto was in a black suit only disturbed them more. Scott had been just about to blast all three of them, and Logan was ready to rip them all apart when Xavier called them off.

Apparently, Eric, using his name was even freakier than him in normal clothing, was endeavoring to turn over a new leaf, meaning not taking over the world. While he was at it, he was forcing his remaining cronies to reform as well. Except for Victor. He'd ran while he still had the chance.

Now, the professor, Eric, and the other adults were all in the office talking about...things and drinking tea. Well, everyone else was probably drinking tea; Logan was probably downing scotch like water at this point. Remy had taken his old friends into the kitchen with him and dragged Rogue with him so he could show her off. Most of the others had either gone about their own business or making the newcomers their business.

"This is awkward."

"Ja."

"I mean, like, really awkward."

"I know."

"Are we supposed to talk to them?

"Probably zhe idea."

"You go first."

"I don't think so, Kitty."

"Scared?"

"Nein. I just really don't want to talk to two dudes who nearly crushed me and tried to set me on fire to see if I burned blue smoke."

"You talk to Remy, and he almost blew you up."

"No, I insult and threaten Remy in a mixture English and German. I call it Gerglish. And dropping him a mile out into the ocean when he first showed up got me over the whole 'blow up'."

"Whatever. We're supposed to be, like, making them feel welcome, Kurt."

"You have fun vith that. I pick now to go through my rebellious, teenage stage. Later."

"Ku – "

BAMF

"rt!"

Kitty muttered to herself, promising to get him back later. Taking a moment to compose herself and wipe the annoyance off of her face, Kitty stepped through the door to the kitchen. Her presence was not immediately noticed.

Piotr glanced at her from his place at the table and nodded his head in greeting. Kitty smiled and waved back. Rogue sat next to Remy, looking positively entertained. Pyro was explaining each aspect of mind-numbing boredom he'd experienced after Magneto had been 'recruited' by Apocalypse and giving Remy grief for not taking him to New Orleans instead of him.

The red head, she noted, looked a little cute without all the orange and face mask.

"I mean, come on! I love violence, and drunken debauchery, and spicy food. How could ya take her and not me?" Pyro very nearly pouted at the Cajun.

"Homme, wait a moment. Look at you and look at this," Remy said, draping his arm around Rogue's shoulder. "I shoulda took you over her?"

"Oh, please," Pyro waved his hand. "I'm way sexier than her. No offense, luv."

Rogue laughed outright while Remy and Piotr shook their heads. Pyro's gaze flicked up to Kitty still near the door.

"It's all right, sheila. I don't bite," he said, patting the seat next to him.

She came obediently, pretending that she wasn't the least bit concerned that he was flicking his lighter open and close.

"Allow me to make the introductions," Remy stated grandly with a sweep of his free hand. "Kitty, ya probably already know Petey there, but I don't think ya ever been introduced to the Pyro here. Kitty, St. John Allderdyce. St. John, Kitty Pryde."

"Nice to meet you," she said, holding out her hand.

Not only did he take the offered hand, St. John surprised her by pulling her into a hug. She was too startled to return it and stared at him a bit after he backed off. Kitty turned wide eyes to a smiling Rogue.

"It's how he says hello," she informed her friend.

"O-kay. So, uh, you're a saint?"*

"Nah, girl, you say it Sinjin. I swear, bloody Americans mush up everythin'," he shook his head in a pitying manner.

"Well, like, excuse me then."

"I, like, don't think I will."

"St. John," Piotr spoke up. "Stop that."

"Yeah, don't be mean to Chaton."

"I'm not! You don't think I'm bein' mean, do ya?"

"You are kind of bein' a jerk."

"You should be used to it, Kit," Rogue pointed out.

"I can't help it. It's part of my personality. Don't help that I don't wanna be here."

"By all means, leave," Rogue told him.

"Would if I could. But see, Magsy's all 'reformed' or somethin' and he's draggin' me come along with him. If I'd known he'd hold it over my head, I never woulda left Oz."

"Weren't you facin' prison time for burnin' down a school?" Remy asked.

"You burned down a school?" Rogue stared.

"No one was in there. And it was a evil, evil place. And at least in prison, I'd know when I was gettin' out. On top of that, I coulda formed a brilliant escape plan."

"Like stealing a lighter and burning a hole through cement walls?" Piotr asked.

"Exactly that! Or maybe the bars."

The door burst open, and the blond whirlwind known as Tabby bounded in.

"Either one of you got a girlfriend?" she asked.

"Not that I know of. How 'bout you, Petey? You hidin' a sheila from us?"

The Russian actually blushed before shaking his head.

"Aw, he blushes! That's so cute," Tabby noted. "So do ya prefer blonds or brunettes?"

St. John grinned evilly.

"Personally, I'm in favor of a brunette, but I've seen the bloke make eyes at a couple of blondes before."

"St. John, stop talking before you are hurt," Piotr cautioned.

"Oh, it's all right, big guy," Tabby said as she sashayed over to the Russian. "We're all friends here," she ran her fingers under his chin.

"You are very bold," he said.

"You're very gorgeous."

St. John cackled at how pink his friend was turning, and Remy, a bit more kindly, smothered his own laughter at his friend's discomfort. Rogue watched it all with a smile, and Kitty…the wheels in her head were already working.

In a blink, Tabby straightened and headed for the door.

"I hope you two stick around," she said over her shoulder. "We could use some new eye candy."

With a flirtatious wink, she made as grand an exit as her entrance.

"Delightful girl," St. John noted.

"You know, mon ami, I think she likes you," Remy smirked to Piotr.

The Russian sent him them both a dirty look before standing.

"Excuse me."

He stood and headed for the door.

"Oh, come on, Pete, don't be like that!" St. John threw his arms out imploringly. "I'm only havin' fun with ya, mate!"

The Russian ignored him and continued his retreat through the door.

"Ugh! He's as prissy as a girl sometimes. Ow!"

Pyro pushed back from the table and gripped his shin.

"You," he pointed at Rogue, "just proved my point! Oh, my poor crural!"

Rogue stuck her tongue out at him.

"Chere, what did I say about your tongue?" Remy asked, causing her to blush.

"Oh, hell, please don't tell us!" St. John pleaded in a desperate tone.

"Um, guys, I gotta go," Kitty said, rising out of her chair. "See ya later."

"I'd come with ya, luv, but I'm a bit crippled at the moment," he sent Rogue a withering glare.

She returned it with equal measure, as if daring him to do something about it.

"I need both of ya to stop makin' eyes at each other. Right now," Remy interjected.

"Jealous, sugar?"

"Disturbed."

On that note, Kitty nearly jogged from the room, through the wall. She passed Tabby in the foyer, who was talking to Amara and Jubilee about the new guys. She then stopped and turned on her heel.

"Have you guys seen Kurt?"

"I think he's having some kind of argument with Roberto about some guy named Saucy and an Itachi in the dining room," Amara answered.

"No, it's Sasuke and Itachi. Those guys from Naruto," Jubilee corrected.

"Itachi's the older, hot brother, right?" Tabby asked.

"Oh, yeah," Jubilee grinned.

Kitty was already gone, not staying for the conversation longer than to find out the where.

**(There should be a line break here but the thing WILL NOT FREAKING STAY!)**

"Look, man. Itachi lost, Sasuke won. End of story," Roberto said.

"Nein! The only reason he lost was because he gave some of his power to Naruto _und_ he was already dying because of the Mangekyou. If he'd been at full strength, he would have kicked Sasuke's duck butt all over the place."

"Okay, I, like, don't even want to know," Kitty said as she came through the wall. "Let's go."

"I'm in the middle of something here."

"Yeah. The middle of being wrong."

"Sie sind ein ignorant Narr, der mit seinem Betters sprechen sollte nicht."*

Roberto stared blankly at him for a moment before replying with,

"Eu não sei o que você acabou de dizer, mas se você quiser jogar vamos falar uma língua que ninguém mais sabe, vamos então!"*

Kitty sighed in exasperation before grabbing Kurt by the shoulder and phasing him out of the room.

"Oh, certo! Esconder atrás de sua mulher!" Roberto yelled after them.

* * *

Kurt didn't fight or complain as he was dragged away from his debate. He merely made himself boneless, even though it did no good while Kitty was using her powers, as she dragged him. She stopped when they made it outside near her tree.

"This better be important," he grumbled.

"We have to get started on Operation: Big Bang!" she blurted.

"Vhat are you talking about?"

"The next mission!"

"You're still on about zhat? Even after last time?"

"That was a small set-back. This time, it'll go perfect."

"Who are you going after zhis time?"

"That's not what you're supposed to say."

Kurt sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Who are zhe _targets_?" he deadpanned.

"The targets for Operation: Big Bang are Piotr and Tabby!"

"…vhat?"

"No, listen. She's totally into him, and he likes her too. She's all out of control and hyper, he's, like, majorly grounded and serious. She can help pull him out of his shell, and he can keep her from blowing up the world! Perfect, right?"

"But – they – you just…vhatever, sure."

"So let's get go run surveillance on Big, and I'll hit up Bang. We'll have these two together in no time."

Kurt watched Kitty run off, absolutely jubilant. It was nice to see her out of her little funk after Operations: Cannonboom! and Ice Sparks had blown up in her face.

Great. Now she had him thinking codenames and puns in his head.

BAMF

He appeared in the kitchen, but Piotr wasn't there anymore. Pyro was with Remy and Rogue, and it appeared as if Remy was trying to talk that bottle of grease out of St. John's grip. Rogue was edging behind Pyro, fingering her glove. Kurt walked out, seeing that they were handling the situation fine without him. Nevermind he could have 'ported and taken the grease. He preferred to stay out of the fire manipulator's sight as long as possible.

While looking for the large mutant, Kurt was once again hit with what he was doing, playing matchmaker. It was kind of annoying but fun at the same time. Fun because he was hanging with Kitty most of the time. Annoying because it was really too ironic. He didn't appreciate irony too much right now.

But really, it seemed like he couldn't say or do anything lately without giving that girl ideas. He sends her to the kitchen to talk with their former enemies, and she comes out with plans for their weddings. That was Kitty though. Ever helpful, even when people really, _really _don't want it.

He'd never change anything about her though. Well…maybe one thing. Like her perspective. Just because he didn't chase her around with mistletoe – for one thing, it wasn't Christmas – didn't mean he wasn't interested in her anymore. If anything, it was worse. He actually knew her now instead of having a casual crush on a cute stranger. It would seem that he was now trapped in the dreaded 'Friends' stage of their relationship with no idea how to move past that.

Sure, he'd dated Amanda for a while. She'd been the second girl to show actual interest in him (he wasn't completely sure if he should count Tabby) so why not? He liked her and Amanda was nice and sweet and really great but…as stupid and cliché as it sounded, she wasn't Kitty. He'd tried to make it work, and he'd thought he'd been doing really well. Apparently, Amanda had a better sense of people's feeling than Kitty though. The day she broke up with him was probably the best day of her parents' lives.

Guess who'd been there for his post-break up funk? And subsequently kicked his butt out of it.

It seems that a depressed Kurt freaked her out and was not allowed to indulge in self-pity as long as she was. He'd had to 'Man up!' about it.

It wasn't that he was terribly broken up about the…break up. It was more that Amanda had been right, even down to the person, but there was no way that he could see to get out of this stage into the other.

Setting up everyone without a significant other in a disaster-prone fashion didn't really help his mood much either.

Kurt was pulled from his thoughts as his world tilted forward. He turned his fall into a flip and landed on the low table he'd bumped into.

"You are very agile."

He turned to the deep, accented voice. Piotr was seated at a couch in the library – when had he gone in the library? – with a book in hand.

"It comes vith the package," he grinned. "So I hear you met Tabby."

"Uh, yes."

"Vhat do you think of her?"

"…is she insane?"

"I think a little bit, but she's harmle – well, she's mostly harmless. Kinda."

"Ah."

This was going so well.

"She likes you, you know."

He wisely left off his thought that she liked everyone. He didn't need to know that. Piotr shifted a bit uncomfortably, and his neck turned pink. He opened and closed his mouth, floundering like a fish jerked up on land.

"She is a…nice girl."

What was Kitty thinking? This shy guy with Tabby? What movies had she been watching now?

Wait…hadn't she said he was cute once? If he didn't get together with Tabby, Kitty might take him for herself.

BAMF

Kurt threw his arm around the bigger mutants shoulder.

"Oh, yeah, Tabby's great! A real sweetheart. You two would get along vunderbar!"

Admittedly, he was laying it on a bit thick, but Piotr seemed interested. But why not? Kurt was now invested in the success of this mission. He might not have much of a shot with Kitty now, but his chances were blown for sure if she hooked up with a guy whose arms were as thick as his torso.

He would see this mission through, no matter what.

Operation: Big Bang was a-go.

* * *

A/N: Stinking line break...

Guys! Amanda and Lance! Amalance. What do you think? (Because QuickAmanda…doesn't sound near as good. And I personally believe that Todd and Fred will be bachelors or marry a Morlock.)

Crural is the medical term for the shin.

*I love that gag.

Ha, Kurt's a Big Bang shipper.

Kurt said: * You are an ignorant fool who shouldn't speak to his betters.

Roberto said: * I don't know what you just said, but if you want to play let's speak a language no one else knows, let's go then.

And then he said,

Oh, sure! Hide behind your woman


	5. Operation Big Bang: Das Ende

I beg of you. Do not tell me of pairing involving Remy and Rogue and they're not with each other. That disturbs me. Anyone else, whatever. Those two, I freak out. It's freaky. Please don't tell me.

**Amulet**: I hear ya, ma'am. It's in the works. I use that term loosely. As loosely as Emma.

* * *

Kurt spent the next twenty minutes gushing over all the many attributes of Tabitha Smith.

"She's just so creative _und_ fun! You're alvays sure to have an interesting time vith Tabby!"

An interesting time involving not getting blown up or being arrested, but Mr. Steely could take it. And he'd probably do very well in prison, big guy like him.

"Kurt, I appreciate that you are trying to be helpful, but I do not think that dating is what I want to be doing now."

Kurt opened his mouth to continue to sing Tabby's praises, but paused a moment. Not dating?

"So you're not interested in Tabby," he said instead.

"No."

"Or anyone else?"

Like Kitty? Because he could like anyone else and Kurt would be fine with it. Unless it was his – erm…Mystique. That would just be awkward.

The Russian frowned at him.

"Why are you so determined that I have a girlfriend? This extends beyond a usual welcome."

That took Kurt aback a moment, not expecting his motives to be questioned. Just calm down and think of a logical reasoning behind it. Use a bit of truth with the story. Just make it believable.

"Uuhm…"

"Kurt?"

"Ja?"

"Why?"

"All right, man!" Kurt cried, throwing his hands in the air. "I'm in love vith Kitty, okay? All of zhis Operation Big Bang, Southern Lovin' was all her idea and it's so ridiculous, but I can't tell her no. And zhat just makes this suck so much more because I can't even tell her I love her because she's my best friend! Do you have any idea how many times I've _tried_ to tell her, but zhe fact zhat ve're friends just completely makes any and all professions of love into zhat cute, little zhing friends do? 'Oh, I love you, too, Kurt! I'm so glad ve're friends, Kurt!' Verdammen!"

Piotr had watched during Kurt's rant as the blue mutant had 'ported throughout the room, seemingly unaware of doing so. He'd gone from standing directly in front of him to the back of the couch, the top of the book shelf, hanging upside down from the chandelier. As he concluded, the teen had ended his rant at the one end of the couch and fallen back onto it.

This…was awkward.

Kurt threw his arm over his eyes and proceeded to mutter his love woes in German. As it seemed a good time, Piotr slowly eased out of his chair, keeping a wary eye on the younger mutant. He made it halfway to the door before Kurt bolted upright and looked straight at him.

BAMF

Piotr found himself staring down burning, gold eyes, and no for the first time, saw why some people found him intimidating.

"You vill never tell anyone vhat I revealed to you today. You vill svear zhis."

"I swear."

Kurt glared at him a moment more before the glower gave way to the boy's usual, friendly.

"Good. Let's just forget zhis whole conversation."

Piotr gave him a suitably blank look.

"What conversation?"

Kurt laughed, suitably relieved that he wouldn't have to make the new guy go missing.

"Danke. Oh, and I'll try and get Kitty to back off of her plan."

"I would appreciate that. I would prefer any relationships I have to not be orchestrated and in my own time."

"I'll tell her zhat. Later."

BAMF

After a moment, Piotr returned to his seat and picked up his book. He'd never admit it now, but despite what St. John had said, he preferred brunettes. There _had _been one particular dark-haired X-girl he'd might have been interested in.

After…that discussion that he would never speak of to a soul, that interest would be firmly placed in the 'Might have been' section and closed. He would not attempt anything with a girl who already had someone in love with her. It would not be right.

Besides that, he had no desire to get on the bad side of anyone related to that Mystique woman.

* * *

Considering he'd virtually spilled his guts to little more than a stranger, Kurt felt pretty good. Aside from those one or four times he'd actually told Kitty 'I love you' and she subsequently took it as meaning '_as friends_' – that still burned -, he'd never told anyone. Yet it was somehow a relief that someone knew.

He didn't feel so…burdened. No, that wasn't the right for it. Loving Kitty wasn't a burden. Burdens were generally bad things to have. And while he did have it _bad_, Kitty was more of…an adorable, oblivious condition he had no desire to get rid of ever.

If he thought about it, that sort of made Piotr like his therapist. Well, he preferred counselor, actually. Because really…therapist. The…rapist.

Just no.

Anyway, counselors had to take those oaths of patient/doctor confidentiality. So his condition was a safe secret.

Following this train of thought, Kurt had made into Piotr a licensed counselor who would be liable for a lawsuit if he told anyone about his little confession by the time he found Kitty. The object of his affection was pool side, trying to explain to the blonde all the wonderful qualities of Piotr.

Judging from the disgruntled look on the latter's face and the just-swallowed-the-canary grin on the former, he'd say it wasn't going so well.

"I mean, really," Tabby was saying, "just what all does this deal include?"

"For the last time, I am not a pimp!"

A bit hesitant to interfere, Kurt decided to brave through it.

"Kitty."

"Not now, Kurt!"

Well, he tried.

"See, it's that attitude there, Kit-Kat, that's going to make you into that lonely, bitter, old lady who gives out fruit cake for the heck of it."

It seemed like that was the straw that broke the camel's back because Kitty sent the blonde this look she could only have picked up from Rogue. Kurt recognized that look. It usually preceded property damage.

"Kitty, I _need_ to talk to you now," Kurt tried again.

For a moment, Kitty continued to glare at the other girl before releasing a calming breath through her teeth and stomping away, around to the front of the house. Kurt followed slowly, a few paces behind her.

"Later, Blue Yonder!"

Kurt grinned and tossed up a hand. Tabby watched them go and shook her head.

"So much for the coulda been," she murmured.

Then two other friends of hers came to mind, the mansion's resident firecracker and ice-maker, and she decided to check up on those two.

* * *

Kitty continued her furious trek straight through the front gates. Shortly after she hit the main road, Kurt 'ported next to her, matching her stride. It seemed he'd gone to his room to retrieve his holo-watch, and now appeared 'incognito'.

They walked together quietly as Kitty stewed and Kurt was really just there. He was used to her angry silences. When she'd been dating Lance, there'd been a lot of different silences. The confused silence, the conflicted silence, the I'm-going-to-_murder_-his-stupid-truck silence, his personal favorite being Lance-is-a-douche being followed by the accompanying rant. That was just funny. Of course, there was the I'm-about-to-cry silence. He hated that one more than anything.

This one was okay. This was just a frustrated silence. Either she'd walk it out and be completely calm, or they'd make it halfway into town before she felt the need to tirade. That was just standard Kitty.

It was a nice day out, warm and breezy as they walked along. They should go for ice cream later.

Kurt looked at Kitty.

"You vant ice cream?"

"Honestly, there's just no helping some people!" Kitty exploded.

And there we go. She went on for a few minutes about how difficult Tabby made everything and some allusion to their time as the Sirens when they nearly burned that warehouse down. Though he was not allowed to speak of it, she'd looked really cute dressed like that…he had the pictures to prove it too.

He didn't really hear what she said, merely nodding at the appropriate times while he fixated on the way she wrinkled her nose when she was mad like this. It seriously reminded him a kitten. Which was completely irony, because she'd told him she was actually allergic to cats.

He wondered if she was allergic to Sabretooth.

"I am so through with this!"

For a moment, Kurt got happy. It wasn't like he _wanted_ to spend his free time match-making every single male and female in the mansion together so that is instantly what he hoped she was talking about.

"So should I give Forge his equipment back?"

He'd have to find it first though. Was it still in that tree?

"What? No! I mean, I'm done with Big Bang. This mission has officially been aborted. Piotr wasn't real interested in her, was he?"

Kurt ceased his mental, German cursing to remember what Piotr had said.

"He said he'd date who he wanted when he was ready. I don't think we should try getting him with anyone."

"Fine. We'll just mark those two off for now. Can you –"

"Making a note of it now," Kurt cut her off, pulling his phone out of his pocket.

He hit a few keys before flipping the phone closed and asking again.

"Ice cream?"

"Kurt, we don't have time. We've got planning to do."

"You scream, I scream, ve all scream for ice cream!"

"I haven't even figured out all the couples yet."

"Cookies _und_ cream with caramel."

"…triple scoop."

"Vhy not make it quadruple?"

"I'll get fat."

Kurt rolled his eyes. It was highly unlikely that four scoops of ice cream was going to affect her weight one way or the other, especially with the training regimen they were on. Still, he humored her.

"Ja, you'll probably blow up like a house," he teased, and she lightly smacked him on the shoulder. "If you are so concerned, I'll eat vhat you don't."

"Deal."

Kitty smiled up at him.

"You're the best."

He could have said something here. It felt like there was an opportunity to say _something_ that would help her _get_ it.

He just smiled back at her and said,

"I know."

The problem was, he _didn't_ know. Whatever words there were to make her his, he didn't have them. Kitty looped her arm through his as they continued to walk together. He wondered if he'd ever find them.

* * *

A/N: I'm wondering…should there be an actual plot in here somewhere?

The pairings might not actually happen at all or they will come together later. I might just go through the motions without actually bringing the couple together, for real. Kazoo just says no, and it doesn't come out that way.

Well, now that I'm done posting B.L.T, I'm going to go eat something. But darn, we don't have bacon...


	6. Interlude

The closest place to the mansion to get ice cream was a gas station at the corner of Greymalkin and Kenneth. The place just after that was the Ice Dream. It was an old school diner set-up with a long counter filled with all sorts of flavored dairy products. On top of its great ice cream selection, it also served the standard for American fast food restaurants.

The lone employee working the front leaned on the counter, staring at the boy staring at the ice cream with a pained expression. He so didn't have all day for this. Yes, it was his job, he got paid for it, but this…was ridiculous. Six minutes and counting, and still no decision. Even the guy's girlfriend was looking impatient.

"Would you just pick one already?" she finally snapped.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, sure. I'll get the…uh…"

"Kurt?"

"Don't rush me!"

Kitty sighed and shared a looked with the boy behind the counter.

"He takes his ice cream very seriously."

Possibly as seriously as Kitty seemed to take matchmaking. The boy, whose name tag read _John_, only smiled politely.

"Okay, well, while you're deciding, I'm going to the bathroom. Order for me if you decide before I get back."

"Uh-huh."

Kurt only turned for a moment as Kitty walked away. She liked cookies and cream best, but neopolitan was a close second, along with plain chocolate. He'd get her all three. Grinning now, he looked back at John.

"I'm ready to order!"

"Finally," he muttered then louder said, "That's great, sir!"

**…**

Rather than ice cream, Kurt ordered actual food. Chili cheese fries, two double cheese burgers no onions, and chicken tenders with a strawberry shake. He'd ordered Kitty's ice cream, telling John to bring it out to the booth he'd chosen as soon as Kitty returned to avoid having a melted mess. He set aside a pack of BBQ sauce and two of five chicken tenders because he knew Kitty would eat them. Deliberating for a moment, he added another one. That would save him being subjected to The Eyes later. The fries were too messy to try and separate, but they could get cold in the time it took Kitty to get back. He'd just eat those now and add a few onto his burgers.

Besides, she was 'on a diet' now anyway. The ice cream alone would be pushing it.

With everything situated just so across the table, Kurt rubbed his hands together eagerly and reached for a handful of fries and burger when someone called his name. He looked up, and suddenly felt a little less happy. It was _Lance_.

It really shouldn't have to be said that Kurt didn't like Lance. That could be blamed on jealousy, general dislike of him as a person, and his past experience of being the one that Kitty cried on and complained to when they were dating. But he wasn't like Scott; he was a much better actor. So much so, Lance probably thought, while not friends, that they were _cool_ with one another.

"Hello," Kurt said _brightly_.

"I thought that was you."

"So it is. Vhat's up, man?"

"Not much. I've been trying to find a job, but it's not going too great."

"Here?"

Lance worked here? He could never come here again! Unless Lance got fired…

"No, _trying._ Apparently, you need a high school diploma to dish out ice cream and flip patties," he replied with a bitter look. "Hey, don't feel bad for me though. You're the one who has to put up with Kelly."

Kurt would have said that he didn't feel bad for him, except that was very rude and callous. Instead he said,

"I know, right? You'd think he'd get zhere'd be less trouble for him if he didn't make trouble with us."

Lance shrugged, "Yeah, but he's a bastard though. Is Kitty here with you?"

"…Ja. Vhy?"

"Figures," he shook his head, a rueful grin on his face.

"Vhat is that supposed to mean?"

"It means, when are you two not together? When me and her were together, it was always Kurt this, and Kurt that, and oh, Kurt says blah. It's no surprise."

"Ve're friends. How is zhat a problem?"

Lance leveled him with a surprisingly knowing look.

"'Cause you don't see her as _just _your friend."

Kurt's eyes widened, and he floundered for a reply.

"It's cool, man. I figured it out a while ago. All I gotta say to you is good luck," Lance backed up a few steps, pointing at him, "You're gonna need it."

Kurt stared, following Lance's progress out the door and to his jeep through the window. He knew. Kitty's ex-boyfriend, he whom he loathed, knew about his feelings for Kitty. Not only did he know, he was okay with it. Well, this was just perfect. Now all he had to do was get Kitty on board, and he'd be golden.

Seriously though, did everyone but her know?

"Kurt?" Kitty asked as she slid back into her seat across from him.

"Hm?"

"Was that Lance?"

"Yeah."

"He wasn't, like, mean or anything to you, was he?"

"No, Kitty, he vasn't so you don't have to beat him up," Kurt rolled his eyes.

Although that would be so funny to see.

"Ha-ha, very funny."

John came to their table and slid Kitty's bowl of four scoops of Neopolitan/Chocolate Mint with caramel drizzle in front of her.

"There you go," he grinned at them before returning to his station.

Usually, the place didn't have waiter service, but Kurt had tipped him enough to make an exception and improve his mood. Kurt was of the belief that everyone who handled his food deserved a tip. Kitty beamed and happily dug her spoon into the frozen treat. In the time it took her to take a few bites, Kurt's first burger was gone, and he nudged the food he'd set aside for her to her. She smiled her thanks and picked the chicken up, but hesitated before eating it.

"So…he was nice?"

Kurt smiled, covering the suspicion threatening to shine through his eyes. Why does she care about Lance's behavior?

"Ja, I guess. I mean, zhere vere no threats or anyzhing. Vhy?"

Kitty suddenly looked very thoughtful, and Kurt became worried. He took a huge bite of his neglected chili fries to help soothe the tension in his stomach.

"It's just…Lance isn't a bad guy, you know. Me and him wouldn't work, but he should have a nice girl to, like, support him and be a good influence for him."

"But not you?" he asked in between bites.

"Oh, no. No, Kurt, I'm…done being Lance's moral compass. I didn't do a good job anyway. In fact, if I ever go starry-eyed over a 'bad boy', just, I don't know, slap me or something."

"I'm not going to hit you."

"Well, just stop me."

"I think I should stop you now. Please tell me you're not going to try and match Lance up now."

Her face brightened all at once, like he'd just presented her with Piranha or Prada or whatever it was.

"Kurt! You genius! That's exactly what we should do. I mean, there's no reason why our services should be limited to just the X Men. Oh, this is gonna be so much fun!"

Fun. Interesting. A different word flashed through Kurt's mind, and while it wasn't 'fun', it did begin with an 'f'.

"You know," Kitty went on, "I've always kinda thought that Lance and Amanda could be cute together."

In what universe?

"Amanda?"

"Yeah. I mean, unless that would be awkward for you since she's your, you know, ex."

"Nein. I'm okay vith her dating, und stuff…but _Lance_?"

"Sure. She's a total sweetheart but not afraid to stand up for the right things or push him in the right direction when he tries to do something stupid."

"Well, ja, but I meant the mullet mostly."

"It is not a mullet!"

"Not an impressive one anyway."

Kitty narrowed her eyes and pointed at him. "You know what? You're blue and fuzzy."

"Isn't blue your favorite color?"

"Not the point. The point is – stop eating my chicken tenders!"

She popped his thieving hand and swiped hers through his to save her food.

"It was getting cold," he defended while she deliberately dipped it in the sauce and ate it.

She continued to glare at him, turning her body away from him and pulling her food into the protective circle of her arm. Kurt then _borrowed_ her spoon and tried to 'save her melting ice cream'. Because there's nothing sadder than melted, wasted ice cream. But then, there are milkshakes, and that makes it better. However, Kitty went after his other burger, and they came to a standoff of sorts, with the other's respective foods held inches from their mouths. With careful timing and precision, they made the switch.

"Nice try, but we're still doing this."

"Doing vhat?"

"I know what you're doing. Trying to distract me from the new objective."

"Damn. I mean, uh, vhat?"

"Let me put it this way, Kurt. We can either go shopping now, and then I'll force you to help me later or we can skip the shopping and just get started now."

Kurt pouted pathetically.

"Okay," he sighed, drawing the word out into three syllables. "But ve're not starting until I'm done eating, and you've figured out the operation name."

"Deal!"

Kurt grinned as he once again resumed eating _slowly_. He fully intended to fit at least one more burger and smoothie after this. Plus, he doubted this operation would be launched for a while. There was no way Operation: Amalance was gonna fly.


End file.
